God's Photo Album (English)

Right before leaving my house for the Easter celebration I looked in the mirror and I was pretty happy with the results of my "not so spiritual" preparations. (I was very happy with the spiritual ones too.) And I smiled and asked God if He liked it too, after all, it was only for Him that I had put on a white dress and a pretty make-up. And I imagined Him saying He loves it, just like a true fiance would say. "You're beautiful. And late. So get out of the house and don't forget anything." - that's pretty much what He said. :) And when I came home and undo my make up and my hair I realized I didn't have a picture of that night. So I said to my Fiance "I hope You took a picture, because I didn't." And somehow I knew He did. And the story repeated itself last night at Pentecost when again I put on a beautifully blue dress and have no picture. So when I came home and realized this I thought "What if God has a photo album of us?" - Think about it, what if He has a photo album, carefully crafted, filled with all the memories when we were together? Filled with all the Celebrations and moments when we loved each other deeply? Filled with the proves of every time He carried us, every time He took us in His arms and told us He loved us? Every time He made us completely and incandescently happy? Today I really wish He had one and showed it to me, page by page. And somehow He does. I can think of Him standing next to me and telling the story of how He chose me, how we met, how many times I tried to run away, how many times He pulled me back, how many times we took a strong hold of each other and promised never to let go. Saying "Remember that Church you visited on your last day in Austria that I filled with Sunflowers because I knew you were coming and you were so happy to see it?" or "Remember your first Celebration of the Pentecost eight years ago? Remember you were wearing that brown skirt of yours and when you got home you wrote Me a couple of lines on a very thin piece of paper?" or "Remember the pink flowers you used to put in your hair in Israel? Remember when you knelt beside my tomb?" or "Remember the fireworks at Loreto? Remember all the cups of coffee we drank together talking and laughing, or when you were crying and I had to find something funny around you to make you smile again?" - And when He says all these things, when He shows me all these memories that only He has a picture of, I know He is here with me, I know He loves me, even though I feel so sinful and alone, even though I worry for so many things, even though I lose my hope and maybe stop talking to Him for hours... I know He is still there, still coming up with a thousand new ways of making me fall in love with Him, because He never gives up, He never stops fighting for me, never stops loving me and perfecting me even when I'm at my worst. Thank You, Beloved, I may not feel happy right now, or feel joyful, but I know You're still by my side even when I feel completely alone and lost.